The Pagan Experience – Wk 5 – Humanity

How do you define “humanity”? What is your contribution to the collective space of humanity? How does your spiritual path support this definition and contributions?

Yep. That’s about how I feel about this topic, ngl.

Yeah, I bet you thought I’d given up on these. Ahahano. Though, I have to admit I have somewhat slacked on the last two weeks, and am only now catching up with this. It’s partly because I have had nfi what to write for this topic, and I am at the point of considering writing about how hard it was to answer the prompt, rather than writing to the prompt itself. Because I can’t bring myself to just write about something else, can I? No, because then it wouldn’t be a challenge. /stubborn Sasha is stubborn. :/

It’s not like I can’t define humanity, or anything like that, it’s just … Every draft I’ve tried to write for this has felt like it was a mess of vague generalisations and ever-so-slightly-concealed rantings, all mixed in with excessive usage of the royal We, as if I can speak for all human beings on this planet. AHAHAHANO. And I just wasn’t happy with that. And now I’ve spent another two hours writing IDK nearly 1k of ranting, and even now, I’m pondering deleting it, but whatever. It’s better than nothing. At least my next post on ‘Earth’ is less grumpy. :D? /tries to find a positive?

And if you can’t be fucked reading beyond the cut (which I would understand), you’re probably not missing much except some swears and ranting and a grumpy Sasha. :/

Apparently I didn’t realise I had a problem with the concept of ~humanity~ until I sat down to write this, but apparently I do. I think it stems from how it’s often used to erase diversity, rather than embrace it. That cry of ‘we’re all human!’, like it’s supposed to make us recognise that, omg, we’re all the fucking same. Yeah, like fuck we are. I mean, ‘humanity’ has other meanings and uses, but that one particularly grates with me, and it’s hard to move beyond that when trying to think of how to relate that concept to my path, because all I hear are fucking pretty words backed up by nothing.

I’m sure this wasn’t meant to be such a bitchy entry, but I read today that apparently Stonewall UK have finally got off their arse and decided they really ought to be championing trans* rights as well, and as a non-binary trans* person, the number of fucks I give is literally zero. Well fucking done for being late to the fucking party. Have a cookie for meeting the minimum requirements for being a decent human being. -_-

I’m sure a lot of this comes from being non-binary in a binary world, and being constantly boxed into something I’m not. (It might also be my grouchy mood, but ehhh.) It does get tiring having everyone define your identity for you, like they’re doing you a favour. I guess if I was more inclined towards activism, perhaps I’d get more shouty about it, be some sort of living example of fuck you to the gender binary, but it’s just not my nature to do that sort of thing. I don’t have that sort of courage or confidence.

It is hard being solitary, though. My polytheist and pagan communities are online, because ahaha there is nothing here in my city. I MEAN. Okay, there are a few, but tbh so much of what I do is so different to what everyone else is doing that finding common ground is next to impossible. That, and I still get bothered by religious discussions that couch everything in terms of The Divine or The Source or other monotheistic concepts. I brings me back to that feeling of no, we’re not all the fucking same, and that’s actually fine and really great! Because I would be bored out of my fucking brain if we were all the fucking same. I end up feeling like I’m not being talked to, or not being invited to offer my views.

*sighs*I am, perhaps, not in the best frame of mind to write about this. I find the concept of ‘humanity’ to be too bendy and vague to be at all useful. It’s never been a concept I’ve brought into my practice all that much, because of that reason. I mean, yeah, I acknowledge that I am not an island, or a hermit, and I will have to deal with relating to other people. And I do. I made this shrine to reach out to other Sobek devotees, and anyone else interested in Sobek. I offer information and myths, rituals, and prayers. I offer advice when asked, and try not to be a dick to people I interact with, online or irl. I even just started selling books and prayer beads at the behest of the gods.
But as for how ~humanity~ fits into my spiritual practice, and how I am meant to contribute to the collective human space, well, fucked if I know. My path has never really been about that? But perhaps that’s just one of those things that comes with devotional polytheism. It’s the gods first. That’s really all that concerns me. And, yeah, a lot of that comes from the old models of priesthood that didn’t really concern themselves with community when they were serving in the temple. Serving the gods is the most important thing. The rest comes from that.
Anyway. I have to catch buses tomorrow to go to a place I am not familiar with and maybe I won’t get lost along the way if Hermes is nice to me, so, I will leave this ranting here, and go to bed, since it is after midnight, and I need to sleep.

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