idk, this is probably going to be a bit rambly, but like everyone, a lot’s happened since February, and I’m only just beginning to find some clear air to process it all. Not gonna do a lot of mundane stuff here, but things are okay where I am, for the moment, anyway. Kinda glad to be living in the most isolated capital city in the world with an actually competent State govermnent. <3
I’ve really only started to Do Things during the past month, and turn my focus back on my practice. Mostly, I’m just doing senut and/or simply offering incense in the morning, and I’ve gone back to Quan Yin practice in the evenings before bed, because I find that very calming. That’s the extent of my work right now, but that’s really only settled in the last week. Before that I felt sort of lost and not sure what on earth to do because everything just felt so overwhelming. We went from bushfires to pandemic to police brutality protests (and I was struggling with post-grad uni work!) and it was just A Lot to deal with all at once.
I won’t lie, my head’s been broken in new and interesting ways during lockdown, and in mostly good ways. They were the sorts of stressors that are needed to break things down and reveal things that I needed to see and acknowledge. Big Hard Work, but good and necessary work.
The other challenge has been my brother moving back to our state with his family back in March, and now that lockdown’s easing here, they’ve been over a lot, and I’m now having to deal with what my brother’s kids see of my shrines and altars. It’s made me re-evaluate how I work and what I want to focus on right now, and it’s been pared back A Lot. I’ll do a proper post about those with pics and whatnot, but mostly, I just have my main Kemetic shrine, my Sau shrine, a lil tiny space for Quan Yin, and another lil tiny space for Hekate. And in a lot of ways, my practice is very much becoming … not closeted, but more … subtle and concealed. Mostly bc I don’t want the kids touching things that might be harmful to them, and just being aware that they’re gonna touch stuff anyway and it’s better to just keep it mostly packed away and bring it out when I’m doing stuff.
I don’t really mind this, to be fair. I think sometimes it’s not a bad idea to be aware of what exactly you’re sharing, and whether that’s really okay. To sometimes keep things to yourself because that’s just what you should do, rather than have eveything out in the open. And, ofc, fittingly, this is also bc there’s a lot of oathbound Sau stuff I can’t talk about that’s weighing on my mind too, and To Be Silent is just there as a lesson in my head atm. And I don’t mind the kids being curious about the stuff in my room bc it is the coolest room and has a lot of cool stuff in it so. 😀 It’s now just come to a point where I’m wanting to be … more measured with how I present my altars and maybe hide things out of sight and bring them out when I need them.
Ehhh, it’s very much a Work In Progress right now, because I’ve really never had to live this way before. I’ve always been very open with my altars and shrines, and to make them very much more minimal and concealed and packed away is … going to be interesting. I know it’s what feels right for the moment, but it’s still going to take some adjustment. I’ve totally lost touch with the seasons and moon phases while in lockdown, so I think I’m just going to start there, and just do like simple esbats and sabbats (maybe if I have the inspiration/energy), for lack of a better phrasing that seems to fit, and reconnect with the world again. I want to do some simple magics as well, just to get my magical muscles working again. I’m very out of practice. So we’ll see how that goes. <3
Hope you’re all staying safe and well. <3 It’s been a very weird 2020. <3