Light a candle, but do not mourn; we all respawn

I need to talk about Pixandria. And this may require a bit of set-up, and you all wondering why on earth I’m talking about Minecraft of all things, but the quote in the title has stayed with me for three months now and it’s still as profound as the day I read it. I geuinely have not stopped thinking about those words and what they signify. The tears I have shed over them is uncountable.

We’re coming up to the March equinox, the time when I wrap Wesir up in black wrappings for the next six months until the September equinox and the return of the sun. I’ve done this for so long I can’t even remember when I started it. But it marks that point in the season when the light year becomes the dark year. Heru-sa-Aset flees to the Duat to protect HIs father, leaving Sobek here to keep things running and make the land fertile.

And during Senut tonight, Hekate came to me, and these words returned. On the cusp of the dark year, She returns, draped all in black, Her hands gently taking mine in hand, as She whispers spells and tells me to prepare for the coming darkness. The contemplation of Wesir’s death and His mysteries, and through all of that, those words keep ringing. Light a candle, but do not mourn; we all respawn.

You don’t expect a stupid block game like Minecraft to give you deep and profound thoughts about death and the afterlife, and yet, here we are. I also didn’t expect how profoundly Pixandria would cling to my heart, and yet, here we are. And I say this like you know what I’m talking about, but that’s definitely not the case. So let me explain where Pixandria comes from and why it matters so much to me.

I’d started playing Minecraft with my partner in mid-2020 as a way to play games together and hang out, and I fell in love with it, so being a youtube person, I began looking up build tutorials and finding all kinds of inspiration for what I wanted to build in our worlds. This led me to a bunch of creators who are excellent builders, namely fWhip, GeminiTay, and MythicalSausage. I came for the builds and stayed for the let’s plays tbh. And this was fine until mid last year when they, along with nine others, launched an SMP (survival multiplayer) series named Empires, where they would each claim a different biome and trade and build empires and have wars and do roleplay. I subbed to everyone involved, and one of those was Pixlriffs, who I had definitely seen in search results before but I’m not sure I’d ever watched until then. Pix chose the desert, and copper, and thus, the Copper King was born. But the thing that really got me was the Vigil that Pix built to track the number of deaths on the server by each Emperor. Each death was represented, with 12 different colours, and the very idea of memorialising deaths like that was something that really stuck with me.

Death is a strange thing in Minecraft. Players can die, but they respawn again. Or not, if they’re playing hardcore mode, in which you only get one life. Every other entity in the world that is capable of being killed by the player does not respawn. You kill a cow, you get meat and leather. Cow is gone. The existence of undead mobs and the ability to zombify and cure villagers means death is sometimes final, but sometimes temporary. Sometimes a transition into a new kind of unlife. And if you leave it at that, it’s just game mechanics.

But then you add Empires, and Lore. Death has no real repercussions for players, or Emperors. The deaths are marked, and life continues. Emperors rise above death. It does not hinder them. It separates them from every other entity in the game. And yet, Pixandria isn’t the only Empire with lore surrounding death. Enter Mythland, and Mythical Sausage. His entire Empires arc is just incredible. He’s an amazing storyteller, and the lore he built into his world was so deep and well-thought out. Because for Sausage, Death for Emperors is different. For Sausage, the body may die, but the spirit flees to the spirit world, and he cannot return to the living and respawn without his soul. If his soul does not find its way back out, he will be lost forever. For Mythland, kings can indeed die, and do die. Why else would he write a will right before his final death by demonic corruption if he believed he would simply respawn? There was a chance he was not coming back to rule.

These two kingdoms have plagued me for months. The fanlore surrounding Pixandria grew to places I had not imagined it would go. To the Kings of Pixandria being guardians and watchers of the other Empires, to them being Immortal, or near Immortal, destined to simply Watch and Keep the Vigil alive, but not get involved. There were writings about ancestors, about rituals and long nights watching candles burn out, who keeps the spirits in the desert, the undying Copper King and his rejection of his Kingdom after the dragon fight that freed the demon, feeling like he had betrayed his people. All borne out of a simple concept of the Vigil, along with Pix’s storytelling. If I could choose to live in any of the Empires, I’d choose Pixandria. It became spiritual simply because of what it was and how it was set up and how it grew in our imaginations. If I belong anywhere, it’s there, with the candles and the beeswax and the copper, keeping vigil. Keeping those memories alive.

Which makes me return again to those words in the title. Pix wasn’t there for the finale of the series for varying reasons, but that line was his final line in his series of tweets about the finale, and it’s still such a profound thing to read, even now. It’s lodged itself in my head, surrounded by so many emotions from the finale, but also of Pixandria and how that desert city grew in my heart. It hits home in this turning of the year, when the dark year approaches again along with Wesir’s mysteries. Because we don’t just mourn for Wesir, we celebrate too. We mark the death, we light our candles for the Vigil, we mourn, and await the light and the triumph and the return of the sun when the year turns light again. When I wrap Wesir this year, I’ll be thinking of Pixandria, and the Vigil, and how we remember our dead, and how no one really dies if their name is still spoken. And maybe this time I’ll go back and not just look at Pixandria, maybe this time, I’ll build something there and keep tending to the Vigil during this dark year.

Wep Ronpet, Year 29, and a new Decade

My Senut shrine set up for year 29. The candles on the outer edge next to Heru-sa and Wepwawet are for Anhur-Shu, the God Upon The Year (left) and the Wandering Eye (right).

I had planned to do a post on Wep Ronpet on the 6th, once it had all calmed down, but it hit right at the start of my work days, and so it didn’t happen. And then I kept delaying and got Busy with other things, so I’m only now getting around to it. I don’t think it’s a big problem though, as it’s given me some time to pause and reflect on the Year 29 Aset Oracle, and make some plans for where things are going.

Anhur-Shu is the God over Year 29, and I’ve already had some very cool experiences with Him. He seems very keen to get to know me, and walk with me this year. After all, that’s what the oracle is all about. The Return of the Distant Goddess is very much present this year, and the work that wasn’t done lsat year needs doing this year. We walk with Anhur to find the Wandering Eye and bring Her back. The colours for the year are white and gold, hence the new shrine decorations. I feel it’s as complete as it’s going to get right now, save for the white lion figurine I have coming to represent Anhur-Shu.

Ra has also been around a bit. Aset did say Djehuty and Ra would be around too, and to ask for Their help. I’ve not had any experiences with Ra before, but the first time, it was when He was accompanying me to the shops to get offerings for Wep Ronpet, and He urged me not to take my music like I usually do, but to listen to the sounds of the earth. He would cover my ears for me instead so I didn’t get overwhelmed as He walked behind me.

Continue reading “Wep Ronpet, Year 29, and a new Decade”

The Days Upon The Year

a photograph of a shrine with images of Egyptian gods on it, namely Wesir, Heru-Wer, Set, Aset, and Nebethet, along with other gods and statuary.
My lil Days Upon The Year set-up on my main senut altar.

We’ve come to that time of the year, the days before Wep Ronpet, where time is and isn’t. I’ve been having odd dreams the past couple of weeks. Not every night, but often enough to take notice of. Nothing Netjer-related though. Just weirdness. Which, tbf, is a step-up from my usual condition of not dreaming at all, or not remembering my dreams when I do. So. That’s a plus, I guess.  It’s nice to be back in the Temple for Wep Ronpet this time around. I’m going to enjoy the virual retreat as much as I can, and celebrating with my family again. <3 I think it’s going to be really fun. 😀 I’ve got some work to do for Wesir’s birthday tonight, and we’ll also get the Aset Oracle presentation tonight as well, so that’s very exciting.

Part of me is like, I should post on each day and Do Something for them, but there’s another part of me that’s also v lazy and thinks that might be better for a reflection post after the new year. So I might do that instead, bc I know I’ll keep up with that committment.

It’s been an interesting year, though a good one, I think, in many respects. I know I’ve done a lot of personal growth, and become more my own person than I was at the start of the year. I’m happy about that. As long as I’m moving forward, I’m happy.

Anyway. I didn’t have much to post today, just wanted to mark the date and we’ll see how my posting goes between now and Wep Ronpet on Aug 5th. 😀

I has a Sobek Shedety!

a photograph of a statue of the crocodile god Sobek with the double crown
A smol Sobek Shedety chilling with Big Flower Dad.

Just a quick post bc omg. <3333 I never expected to find, let alone acquire, a statue of Sobek Shedety with His proper Double Crown on, but it happened omg. Very many thanks to Rev. Ma’atnofret for not only finding Him, but being willing to let me buy Him. <3

He arrived this morning, safe and sound, and He’s currently enjoying the myrrh incense I’m burning for Him. I’ll do Senut for Him tonight and give Him something special to welcome Him home. <3

I want to write more about this, but I have to rush off to work rn, so. Later, friends. <3

Sekhmet Nesret’s year

The God over the year for this past Kemetic year has been Sekhmet Nesret, which seemed to be appropriate for a plague year tbh. As Wep Ronpet approaches, I’ve been thinking about how far I’ve come, and how many changes have happened in my life since then. More than I initially thought, tbh. Returning to the House of Netjer was a big one, but really just the beginning. Going through the Beginner’s Class again, and relearning this religion again, was a revelation. It’s become clear to me that I just wasn’t ready back when I was first in the House. This past decade of wandering has been leading me to this path again, to returning home. I find it fitting that the oracle card I got in a recent witchy mystery parcel was one that said, All Paths Lead Home (from the Starseed Oracle). That’s very much been my theme for this year ngl.

I burnt out halfway through second semester last year. Partly my fault for not listening to my body when I should have rested. But I persisted anyway. And I think the past six months have been very restorative for me and placed me in a better position to succeed this time around. Especially since I stopped drinking coffee in March after the worst 3 day migraine I’ve ever had. It felt like detoxing, resetting my system, a smol mini-death to change things I didn’t otherwise have the power/motivation/energy to change. I still sort of feel like I’m still processing all of that. My brain definitely took a couple of months to settle and stop worrying that migraines were just around the corner.

I’ve been looking into my health as well, and seeking out a hEDS diagnosis. I’m at the stage now where I just want to know, so I can then plan around it, and work on my joints from there. So I’m working on that. All part of knowing yourself, really, tbh.

Getting my working altar set up properly has also been very productive. I think the migraines were definitely getting in the way of me sensing energy bc I can feel stuff now. It’s not constant, and it’s nothing more than a feeling rn, but it’s definitely something. I’ve been doing some spellwork and figuring out finally what I’ve been wanting my witchcraft to look like. What I want is a Kemetic magical practice with modern witchcraft techniques as well as heka. Something that’s instinctive, but also works. And I’ve never found anyone doing it the way I want to do it, so I’m just doing it myself. I may write up some of my workings on here once they’ve done their job, just to give you an idea of how I’m doing things now.

There’s definitely other things too, I think, but I don’t have the words yet, or can’t share them bc oathbound, but it’s been an interesting year, and I’m hoping for a slightly calmer year to come. I’ll be thinking about this some more as I prepare for Wep Ronpet and may share more of my reflections in the future. But I’m glad I had these changes, bc my life is so different even from back in October. I don’t recognise myself back then, and can’t go back anyway. This is me now, and I’m glad for it. It’s hard burning away what needs to be left behind, but sometimes necessary, and now I can focus on healing and growing and continuing to become.

A Zep Tepi for Per Sebek

Some might think it’s rash to just up and leave a blog I’ve tended for 12 years to start again with nothing. But sometimes that’s the best option to do. That part of my path is over, and I have a beautiful record of everything I experienced, wrote, created, and shared with everyone I met along the way. I’ll keep maintaining it, because it’s become an invaluable resource, and I have no interest in taking that away.

But as I’m nearing a year back in the House of Netjer and Kemetic Orthodoxy, the time’s come to start again. The old site just wasn’t where I am anymore. It’s not me. Not what I’m being called to do now. And there comes a point where rewriting what you already have is just not the way to go, so you need to burn it all down and start again.

I’m still incredibly proud of that old site, though. I always hoped people would take the rituals I wrote there and not just share them, but use them. And they did! I can’t tell you how touched I am by that. To hear from people who’ve used my rituals and got results from them. That makes it all worth the effort. That’s also why the old site is not going anywhere. It’s important, not just to me, but to other people. It became the kind of valuable resource I hardly conceived of when I first started that blog in 2009.

But like when you write in the last page of your old Book of Shadows, and have to start a new book, so it is here. I’ve written the last page of that chapter of Per Sebek, and now I have a fresh, new book to start writing in. And I’m so excited to create something new here. I have so many ideas for what I want to put here. I have so many more resources for academic research that I didn’t have before that I want to make good use of. I want to create new rituals and new pieces of heka to put here. New writings, new myths, new things that reflect where I am now.

All paths lead home. That was the oracle card I got in a package recently. And I’m back home again. My practice is different now. And I’m not practicing alone anymore. I’m not the only Sobek kid. I’ve changed so much since I was last a Shemsu, and it’s all for the better. And I will have more reflections on that return, and that zep tepi as a shemsu. But for now, it’s a new beginning, with nothing to start with, and so much potential.

It’s Aset Webenut/Aset Luminous tomorrow. I’m planning to make boats, and float them, and make offerings, and give thanks for the old site, and how much light it brought to those who needed it. I hope to continue shining that light for people here as well. May you find what you need here. <3

A Hymn to Sobek, Lord of Flowers

I sing now of Sobek, Lord of Flowers,
Lord of the Incense in the Midst of Ritual,
Lord of Myrrh, who delights in perfume,
Who delights in flowers upon the altar,
roses, jasmine, lotus, and sandalwood,
Sweet Lord, Lord of Love,
whose beauty is seen in dewy grass
on a cold winter morning,
in the winter sunlight, where dawn
brings that particular shade of light,
for Sobek, rising like Ra out of the
freshwater lakes, the pure clean waters,
crowned with flowers and green leaves,
Lord of Purification, make me pure,
May I be bathed in Your scent, O Sobek,
Bathe me in flowers, in incense, in Your waters,
Let me lay flowers at Your feet,
Tie them to Your pure clothing,
Crown You in beauty,
Put Your precious oils on Your skin,
Making You pure and radiant,
Lord of Flowers,
Who comes to me in gentle showers of rain,
and soft wispy clouds,
the wind that follows you down a path,
so you are never alone,
dancing around your feet,
He who makes the herbage green
after winter rainstorms,
bringing life to the soil,
bringing forth flowers from the ground,
reflections of Your beauty, O Lord,
You are the oasis lake,
fresh sea breezes that take the summer heat away,
big shady trees that give shelter and shade,
that cool air that touches your skin,
brings relief from the heat,
even though He is present
in that bright blue sky
that only comes when it’s hot,
watching down as He watches over,
fire hitting water,
be purified, O Lord,
as I bring these flowers,
and rest them at Your feet,
Your perfume fills me,
surrounds me,
as these flowers surround me,
basking in Your radiance,
on the rain that falls on parched ground,
the cool autumn air beckoning,
as the heat of summer retreats,
as Heru-sa-Aset retreats,
It is the season of Sobek,
the dark half of the year,
and the half that brings flowers,
brings life,
makes the land green and growing,
The time of Sobek, Lord of Flowers,
Lord of the Floods, Lord of Green Growing Things,
The beautiful calf before the flood,
who makes the land fertile,
whose scent radiates through the air,
in the presence of flowers,
of incense, of perfume,
Sobek, I honour You,
Lord of Flowers,
Beautiful God,
who basks on the river bank,
covered in glory,
and crowned with radiance,
flowers marking Your presence
with their beautiful perfume.
Hail to Sobek, Lord of Flowers!